Breakthroughs

I had an interesting realization last night. After work, I finished painting the glider for Little Lady's room (it was a dark cherry color, but everything else in her room is white, so I wanted things to coordinate). Then I made dinner and we had a picnic outside while Little Man drove his car around the chalk-drawn "car road" I had made for him. Hub had to do some work so after dinner I put the kiddos in the stroller and we went for a walk. I let Little Man decide which way we would turn at every intersection and we collected leaves to do painted leaf prints when we got home.

My breakthrough occurred on the walk. I was looking down at my two great little ones, facing each other in the stroller and soaking in all the glorious sounds, smells, and sights of fall and I wondered why we hadn't been going for walks every night all summer long. And then I realized - it was my fault and the reasons were two-fold.

Reason One: I was so tired. By the end of the work day when I went to take over kid care I just didn't have any energy. This was partially because both my kids are up at least once a night, but primarily because I wasn't feeding myself the right foods. I was sluggish. I was carrying a lot of water weight and moving my body was hard and uncomfortable. So, it was a lot easier not to do it. Now that I'm choosing quality foods that are high in protein and nutrients and are low in sugar, fat, and processing I have more energy.

Reason Two: I was selfish. I've never really thought about it this way before, but I was being entirely selfish in the way that I was living my life (at least emotionally). I was in a cycle of thinking and eating that led to only one thing: guilt. That guilt made me angry with myself and embarrassed and lazy and that meant I couldn't be nice enough to myself to go on walks and enjoy the beautiful place that I live. And that was selfish. My kiddos missed out on some beautiful long summer days because I was feeling too guilty and was punishing myself. Now that I'm taking care of myself, my mental fog has lifted and I can allow myself to enjoy things again. Things as simple as a driveway picnic and a walk down the street. Things that I didn't even realize I was taking away from myself (and, as a result, my children).

In all my years of dieting yo-yos, I'd never really made the connection between my indulgent eating and selfishness. Perhaps it's because the idea of "putting myself and my health first" sounds more selfish then eating a pan of brownies. But, as it turns out, putting myself in a position to stop punishing myself has been the most selfless thing I've done all year. It's opened me up to being a better mom, wife, and friend. I can stop hiding, I can stop punishing myself, and I can stop making excuses as-if I'm not capable of better than I've been accomplishing. I can stop worrying about "me" and just be me. And it turns out, that's better for everyone.

Source: Segullah

Let's be honest

There are times in our lives when we gain weight. For me, I tend to gain a lot of weight at these times. The freshman 15? I'll take 22. The holiday 5? I'll take 10. It's that tendency that I need to put to rest this time around. 

The first step in preventing those periods of weight gain is to identify them. So, here are a few:

Source: Lipmag

1) The freshman 15. I'd like to broaden this category for you. I graduated college a long time ago now (2007) and haven't been a freshman for 10 years. However, I've gained the freshman 15 a handful of times. The idea behind the freshman 15, I think, is that you've had a major life change where you are changing your routine and daily expectations. This can happen when you move, get new roommates (or get married), start a new job, lose a job, or many other big changes. 

2) The holidays. Maybe it's just the smell of cinnamon and pumpkin everywhere you go, but the holidays have an actual taste. And the easy access to treats, parties, and traditions make overindulging really easy. 

3) Pregnancy. Pregnancy should be the healthiest time of your life. The responsibility for growing another human being is a little overwhelming. When I was pregnant I gave up caffeine, artificial sweeteners, and all medication. However, something also happens where you feel that ice cream is a daily necessity. I didn't gain more than is recommended during my pregnancies, but I did gain more fat than I wish I had. Men - don't think you are immune, either. If your lady is pregnant, you'll find that you eat more, too.

4) Winter. I currently have the fortune to live in the San Francisco Bay Area in California, where my weather is pretty incredible year-round. But, I have lived in one of the harshest winters you can. I lived for 3.5 years in Fargo, ND. And you do not go outside (save for running too and from your car) for months on end. This makes regular walks or exercise very hard. Not to mention that biological need to store weight for the cold. Cold weather, post-holiday guilt, biology, and stuck-inside boredom can make winter weight gain a real problem. 

5) Celebrations. Maybe you are a lucky person who has one friend or family member with a birthday each month so there's only one day per month of celebratory splurging, but it seems that celebrations come in clusters. We tend to use celebrations as an excuse to overindulge. And there are also anniversaries, raises, date nights...

And how do we prevent weight gain during these dangerous periods? Have a plan. Yesterday's post on how to deal with weekends is actually a great reference on managing these periods as well. 

But, the best advice I have to give at this point (as I've fallen victim to these periods many-a-time) is to be honest.

Be honest with yourself: Have a big event or life change coming up? Want to splurge on a piece of pumpkin cheesecake to celebrate your new promotion? Okay - great. But, decide to do it and decide to do it once. No guilt. No shame. No blaming yourself later and feeling bad and starting the cycle of guilt eating. Just eat it. Enjoy it. But, be honest with yourself that you're going to do it. 

Is your goal to lose 2 pounds per week? Maybe you need to change that to 1 pound a week during the winter or in the midst of major life changes. Perhaps plan to sign up for a gym membership during the cold months when you can't exercise outside. But, don't pretend like you'll be 100% perfect every day. Be honest. 

Be honest with others: Tell people you are dieting. Call it whatever makes you comfortable (dieting, eating healthy, trying to lose some weight, giving up sugar, etc...), but tell people. Food is often the center of our celebrations and get-togethers. If you don't speak up, you'll find yourself in situation after situation of having to have so much willpower. Ask others to help you. Tell your friends, family, and even coworkers that you are trying to limit your calories and would appreciate a salad with dinner or you'd prefer not to go to the diner for lunch, you packed your own. Or when your friend suggests you meet for ice cream to connect, suggest frozen yogurt - or even better, a walk around the park. Let other people help you. And don't apologize. 

Which brings me to one of the big reasons I've started this blog (somewhat anonymously, I'm not posting it on my Facebook or personal sites) is because I want to be honest with you, internet friends. I want to find support in others (and provide support to others) who are struggling with maintaining their healthy selves and want to do that together. So, I can at least promise you honesty. So, when my next hard period comes, hopefully I'll be better equipped to honor myself and my goals. 

Weekend Success

For routine-driven individuals (like myself) and even for those of you who are more flexible or spontaneous, weekends are the hardest time of the week when you're working on weight loss.

Something about not having your normal schedule and wake up times and eating times makes food logging and preparation harder. You likely are going out and not around the house for all your meals, either. I'm happy to report that I had a very successful weekend food-wise. And I even got in almost 18,000 steps on Friday (okay, it's because my brother and I went to Six Flags, but hey, steps are steps!). I'm even down another pound (for a total of 6 pounds in just shy of 2 weeks).

Source: someecards

So, just in case your weekend wasn't a great success, here are my tips for making next weekend (and every one after that!) a success.

1) Plan ahead. Going shopping in the afternoon? Stick a power snack in your purse. Going out to dinner with family or friends? Look up the restaurant's menu/nutrition info online before you go so you can already know what you want to eat within your desired calorie range. Want to splurge a little on dinner? DO NOT forego calories earlier in the day to "save room." Just plan to eat a few hundred extra calories for dinner. Maybe drop your evening snack, but don't "save" calories. Just plan for an extra indulgence.

2) Be honest with people. Worried about turning down the bucket of popcorn at the movies or the extra scoop of ice cream on your cone with your friends around? Be honest and let people know you are trying to eat healthier. Don't hide it or apologize for it. You'll be surprised how supportive people are - and how food doesn't have to be the center of every get together.

3) Get moving! Don't sit around and watch TV (and the clock until it's time to eat again) all day. Go window shopping at the mall. Find a rummage sale. Walk to the park. Hop on Pinterest and find a DIY project you'd like to try out. Keep yourself busy with fun and productive tasks and you won't even miss your bag of chips.

4) Leftovers. Cook on weeknights. Make enough extra that your lunches and dinners are taken care of on the weekend. Less work for you and you'll have food ready by the time dinnertime hits and you find yourself wishing you didn't have to cook.

5) Step on the scale. I do not advocate daily weighing - it just sets you up for frustration (more on that in a "dieting traps to avoid" post coming up), but I do suggest you weigh-in on Sunday and Monday mornings (and Thurs or Fri are the best days to be your official weigh-in day). Knowing you'll be accountable to the scale tomorrow for what you did today can help you make smarter choices. You can also see how one hamburger and fries can impact your bloat/water weight. Gaining a pound and a half overnight can really help you learn what foods you should avoid.

How do you stay motivated?

Baby Steps

I tend to be an all-or-nothing kind of gal when it comes to weight loss and food. I'm a really good "dieter." In the active phases of weight loss when things are going well, I can count calories and steps and meal plan. This week, for example, I've dropped 5 pounds in 6 days. Now, we all know that's mostly water weight, but that's not really important. It feels empowering see success.

Source: quotespictures.com

I explained to my husband the other day that weight gain is a lot like debt. It's not so bad when you're accumulating it. You're indulging and having everything you want in the moment. You don't really realize the consequences that are piling up on the back end. But, one day you wake up and realize it's bad. You're thousands of dollars in debt (or 30 or more pounds overweight). You want to just say "I'm sorry," and have all the debt (weight) washed away. I mean, you learned your lesson, right? But that doesn't take away the consequences and the only way to fix your problem is a lot of hard work and cutting back on expenses (calories). And it's not fun. Not, at least, compared to the time spent indulging and spending (eating).

But, have you ever paid off a credit card that once had a high balance? There's not much better feeling. And it's the same with weight loss. There's not much better feeling then putting on a size smaller than you were before and feeling more confident in your own skin.

My life is kind of hard right now, if I'm being perfectly honest. There's a lot of stress going on and I, obviously, haven't been managing it very well given my weight gain over the previous 5 months. And the guilt over that is hard, too. Not turning guilt and stress into eating is hard for me. But what I have to remember is that I don't want to be 40 pounds overweight anymore. But losing that weight is a battle won in small increments. In winning every day battles: An apple instead of a candy bar, a walk to the park instead of a movie on Netflix, a greek yogurt instead of a bowl of ice cream, cleaning my living room instead of an extra handful of chocolate chips and Facebook.

Think about the Crystal Light "Tiny Win" campaign. Because that is really how big change happens - a series of tiny wins. So, that's where I am today. Trying to remember that it takes time to lose weight, but that there's joy in the journey and in each "win".

Trigger Foods

I've done enough dieting over the years to know that I have a few "trigger" foods. These are foods that actually cause me to crave more. Not even always more of the same food, but after I eat them, I'm not satiated but rather left wanting more.

For me, some of those foods include: Peanut butter, brownies, licorice, sugary cereals, pudding, macaroni and cheese (pasta in general), and jelly beans. These foods are necessarily bad in their own rights, but they are foods I should avoid to ensure success in limiting my calories.

I highly recommend you work to identify your trigger foods. You may already know some of them and be thinking to yourself right now, you mean how I cut one brownie out of the pan to eat last night, but somehow there's only one brownie left today? To really figure them out, start a food journal. This is not a food journal to track calories (although you can do that, too, if you like). But rather to track your hunger levels before and after eating. It would look something like this:

Source: Drop It and Eat

Then track everything you eat (and I mean everything!) for a week. Then go back and review (although you may notice trends as the week goes on) how you felt after certain foods, which days you snacked more (and if there is a common theme in other foods consumed). You'll be able to see your trigger foods bubble to the surface. And then you can eliminate them. 

Wait, did I just say eliminate them? Yes. I did. Almost invariably when I'm having weight loss success peanut butter comes along and foils everything. Okay, that's a little extreme, but it's still true(ish). I really like rice cakes with peanut butter on them. It only takes a teeny bit of PB to get that great taste, so it's a fairly good snack choice. But, I can't have just one. And then, I'm left craving and then I feel bad that I ate the extra calories and indulge more to mask my guilt and then...you get it. 

Unless it's some sort of food you have to eat for religious purposes (is that a thing?) then you really don't need to ever have it again. Part of weight loss maintenance (which I hope to document with you all as well in 6-9 months) is eating healthy, satisfying foods every day with a few treats now and then. But, the treats don't need to be trigger foods. If I know that jelly beans are a trigger food for me, I can just choose to have an ice cream bar for my treat. I'll enjoy it just as much, but won't have to deal with the cravings afterward. 

For the last week I've been focusing on healthy, satisfying foods and I've already lost 4 pounds. I'll share my meal plan (and meal planning techniques) later, but my meals might not be the right ones for you. Figure out those foods that you enjoy and that don't leave you hungry and you'll be able to map your way to success without feeling deprived. 

P.S. I'd recommend never waiting until you are a 1 to eat, odds are you'll over eat because you are so hungry. Also, I'd never eat until you are a 7. You'll likely have overindulged and feel yucky. Try to keep you hunger levels between 2-6 (or even better 3-6) and you'll have better success. 

And put your fork (or spoon) down when you are at a 5 hunger level and wait 5 minutes. If you are still hungry, eat some more. But, sometimes we keep eating because the food is good or we are busy socializing and forget that we have really had enough.

Pep Talk

Source: Barnorama

Hi. So, it's been 6 months since this blog was born and I wrote this post. This is the inherent problem with weight loss blogs for normal people, you know, when you aren't doing so good at the weight loss thing, you hide from the blog. You don't have much constructive to say or share other than man, you have you guys tasted the pumpkin spice Oreos yet? Because they are amazing. I ate the whole package last night... and that, of course, sounds like is pretty much failure. So, how do you blog when you're failing?

Having said that, I've had a little bit of an epiphany. And with that, I expect that I'm back for a good long while. The epiphany came in the unlikeliest of places. Potty training. Seriously.

I'd been putting off potty training my son. He'll be three in November and he's a pretty big kid. It was time to be done changing his diaper. Moreover, the cost of diapers for two kids was just getting to be too much. But, I'd been putting it off.

What if he's not ready? But I'm so tired - I haven't had a full night's sleep in over 8 months; I can't handle potty tantrums. We've got a trip coming up. All these thoughts and excuses filled my head. And then one day it hit me, like a slap, You can do this. All the excuses and delay tactics were doing were convincing me that he and I couldn't do it. I've made the mistake of underestimating Little Man before when we were taking away the pacifier. I didn't think he was ready - but he was. I was holding him back by assuming. And now, I was holding us both back by putting off potty training.

And, as you can guess, that's been pretty much the same situation for my weight loss situation the last five months. There's been no shortage of excuses. And, to be honest, they're pretty legitimate. Between motherhood, full-time employment, cleaning, cooking, and church obligations, I'm busy and exhausted. But, more importantly, I can do this. 

I need to do this. Since my last post on this blog 5 months ago I have gained back every pound I'd lost. And I can't afford to keep going that direction. So, I'm done underestimating myself and have started anew. Mama from a few weeks ago is forgiven and forgotten and new Mama is just getting started.

I bought a quote to sit with me at my desk in my office area and it says this: "Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken." It makes me laugh, but also reminds me that life is short and it's up to me to be the person I want to be. And I also need to be my biggest fan and cheerleader. So, that starts today.

Weigh to go Wednesday

It's Wednesday!  That is my weigh-in day.  I'm down another 1.5 pounds this week for a total loss of 13 pounds over 4 weeks.  Not too shabby!

Image Source

I also do measurements every 2 weeks.  So, since this is week 4, it was a measure week.  Here are the losses so far on each of the places I measure:

Neck: -.25 inches
Chest: -.25 inches
Waist (smallest part): -1.75 inches
Belly (around the belly button): -1.25 inches
Hips (biggest part): -2 inches
Arm: -.75 inches
Thigh: no change

Total Inches Lost: 6.25 inches!!

So, 13 pounds and 6.25 inches lost in 4 weeks.  All accomplished by counting calories and walking more.  Maybe it's time to really step up my workout regimen.  Imagine what I could do!  :)

How are you successes going this week?