Stress. Eating.

Happy Monday!  I hope your weekend was wonderful.  Our weather left a little to be desired, unfortunately.  It was windy and chilly.  This made getting my steps in a bit more difficult than it has been, but I did pretty well.

Today I need to get something off my chest.  I haven't been doing GREAT with my food intake the last few days.  I haven't gone too overboard or anything, but I'ver really wanted to.  My relationship with food over the last 15 years or so has been somewhat tenuous.  Sometimes I'm totally in control and feeling great and, well, the rest of the time?  Not.  I'm a binger (not to be confused with a purger, I don't go there).  But, I stress eat.  I eat in secret when no one is looking and I hide the evidence.  And, for about 30 seconds while I'm cramming the brownie (or whatever) into my mouth I actually feel better.  Until I don't, and then I feel worse for having crammed the brownie and we start over again.

Things in my life have been a bit  very stressful lately.  My hub lost his job while I was on maternity leave, so I had to go back to work a couple weeks earlier than expected.  So, I've got a 2-year old, a baby, a full-time job, a hub looking for work, bills to pay, a house to clean, a body to reshape, a severe lack of quality sleep - and I'd be lying if I didn't say that it got to be too much sometimes.  Some days I, literally, feel the desire to binge.  I want it.  It's hard to explain, because I know at the end of day I'll end up just feeling worse and more guilty about the overeating, but I really do crave it.

Luckily this weekend I didn't give in.  But, it's been hard to get the thoughts to go away.  So, even though I'm doing okay diet-wise, I don't feel very okay.  So, today My Fitness Pal is going to be my best friend as I make sure to log every little bite I eat to help me feel a little bit more like I'm paying attention and making those right choices.  I won't let all the progress I've made go to waste over a little (or a lot...) stress.

I can do it and so can you!